Butt Dialing

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Some of you are of the age that you can actually remember what a rotary dial phones. For those of you too young for such mechanical dinosaurs, it consisted of a dial on top of a black box that made a nice clickity-clack sound with each number you dialed. Think the movie poster for Alfred Hitchcock’s Dial M for Murder. Oh, wait, you are probably too young for that, too.

If your finger slipped off or you made an error while using a rotary phone, you had to hang up and start all over again. Somehow in the dark recesses of a rusty mind I recall our number when I was a kid. It was Gladstone 359. So you dialed GL359 to reach us. 

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Lollipop Bubble Crush Saga

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The Internet is an amazing tool that allows us to not only gather information but to connect with friends all over the world.

One of the primary ways we do that is through a page called Facebook. The user puts in pictures and information about his or herself and suddenly their entire lives are out there for the rest of the world to see whether we want to or not.

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Vinegar and Baking Soda

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Ol' Dutch hadn't been in the bachelor way very long before certain older women began teaching him some of the better ways of cleaning. I am not sure if that was due to needing some help in that department or just in the interest of their wanting to raise another son.

Two products immediately came into action in the war against germs and odors both of which a bachelor has a plethora of: baking soda and vinegar.

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I thought you would change

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No matter where Trixie and I go, people always feel it’s their God given duty to help us along the way to harmonious matrimony.

Most of the people who seem intent on this event taking place don’t seem to be in that great of an undertaking of their own or have gone down the aisle multiple times thereby annulling their reliability as an expert on happiness.

 Now Ol' Dutch used to have a farm and he soon found out that you don’t have to own the cow to milk it and has tried to live by that edict after losing the cow I did own. Hence, I am not married.

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Flushing Made Me Blush

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Now Ol' Dutch has been a few places and along the way had the opportunity to see all kinds of places where people do their duty, therefore, it takes a lot to impress me when faced with communal pots.

The other day I was in a retail store and they had the new-fangled low water flush model and it was so deep you could have raised Koi in it. When I flushed it a sign flashed warning all women and small children to clear the area. A vacuuming sound unlike any I have ever heard emanated from the john and the man next to me almost lost his toupee.

But nothing could prepare me for my trip to Kansas and what I found there. In a small north central Kansas town the people there took it upon themselves to not only have a public restroom downtown but to have THE public restroom of all time.

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