Ol' Dutch hadn't been in the bachelor way very long before certain older women began teaching him some of the better ways of cleaning. I am not sure if that was due to needing some help in that department or just in the interest of their wanting to raise another son.
Two products immediately came into action in the war against germs and odors both of which a bachelor has a plethora of: baking soda and vinegar.
Baking soda is an amazing product that neutralizes acids and bases and my dad even used to take it for an antacid which is definitely not recommended but it seemed to work. Small amounts have even been shown to help middle distance runners improve their times and what bachelor can’t use that in his quest for freedom from wily-marriage-minded females?
Place an opened box of it in the refrigerator and you can get a much longer time between cleanings. Again, a definite plus to successful living.
Vinegar is a strong smelling product excellent for cleaning about anything and some of the earthly-type people even use it to clean themselves from the inside out. They swear that taking a tablespoon of this potent additive will cure everything from gout to warts. All Dutch knows is it will make the part of you that pecks your partner pucker up. It’s sour.
So the other day Ol' Dutch is perusing the Internet for nifty ideas to incorporate into his life when lo-and-behold he finds a recipe for washing ultra-thick hair with baking soda and vinegar. With Trixie around the house some, any idea to treat her gorgeous thick locks in a faster manner is greatly appreciated so I decided to experiment before subjecting her to “the treatment.”
Armed with the right ingredients I climbed into the shower and began applying the powdery soda to my head. It quickly balled up like the Pillsbury Dough boy and I began to doubt the veracity of the information. But, it was on the Internet so it has to be true, right?
So not to be discouraged on the road to a full and natural sheen to my locks, I grabbed the bottle of vinegar and poured it on my head.
What followed was reminiscent of my Science Fair Volcano Project. It was a beautiful rendition of Mt. St. Helens and when the judges came around to view it, I decided that doubling the ingredients for a successful eruption would really impress them. I am not sure the custodian ever did reach the splashes to the ceiling in the gym but everyone in there got to take home a portion of my project with them on their clothes.
But, I digress. There I was in the shower with my hair baking bubbling and fizzing and erupting in volcanic splendor from every orifice in my body and in a panic decided to put even more vinegar over my head because, well, more is always better. The ground shook and my head swam and I swear I could taste my grandmother's pickles at that moment. I love nostalgic moments.
Now Ol' Dutch has had the wool pulled over his eyes on more than one occasion and not just by area sheep ranchers. So with further review, it appears that I may have forgotten to read the directions.
It was an easy cleanup so I didn’t find myself in much of a pickle although I sure do smell like one.