No matter where Trixie and I go, people always feel it’s their God given duty to help us along the way to harmonious matrimony.
Most of the people who seem intent on this event taking place don’t seem to be in that great of an undertaking of their own or have gone down the aisle multiple times thereby annulling their reliability as an expert on happiness.
Now Ol' Dutch used to have a farm and he soon found out that you don’t have to own the cow to milk it and has tried to live by that edict after losing the cow I did own. Hence, I am not married.
I guess that’s enough about that and need to move on to the point of this column and that is “Change.”
You may or may not have noticed but going into a marriage both parties have the exact same thing on their minds. Well the woman may have kids, a house and a career on her mind and the man sex. But, other than the obvious things, they both have some certain age old misconceptions about this union of souls.
The man finds a woman of his dreams who cooks and cleans, goes hunting and fishing with him, is a romantic vixen of no small renown and thinks the sun never sets even on his shadow.
The woman on the other hand finds a man with a job and has what is known in the female world as “potential.” She is less concerned with what he is today but what he will become under her tutelage.
Finally the honeymoon comes to an end along about married month two and problems begin only multiplying in algebraic proportions after the first baby arrives.
Suddenly this sexy, young, cooperative and understanding woman is turned into someone who expects things to be done right or what is hereafter to be called “her way.” The man, used to her giving him a lot of leeway during the dating game, can’t understand who this woman is he is living with.
The woman on the other hand cannot understand what happened to this man. He had so much potential when they married and she was just sure he was a project worthy of her every effort.
I was reminded of this after hearing about a friend of mine who went to marriage counseling. The counselor asked them both what seemed to be the major issue. Both blurted out their answer at the same time. She said, “He didn’t change,” and he said “She changed.”
I have to say Trixie took on a project of massive proportions when she met Ol' Dutch and so far has been able to make some positive changes to my ways. I take regular baths now and don’t put my elbows on the table, I don’t swear unless people make me and will even suffer through an evening of “The Voice.” But alas, some things you just cannot teach an old dog.
Trixie on the other hand, has changed some but not enough to really bother me. The key here is our constant fixation on one goal between us: why get married and ruin a good thing.
So if you ever hear someone say “change is good', rest assured that is a woman looking for a man.