Laundry is a snap

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There are vast differences in how women and men do their laundry. You might be surprised at the revelations I am about to uncover and how that will impact mankind and our survival in the future.

Cooper took over one of Trixie's high priced, California-dreaming pillows and used it for a bed long enough for it to start smelling like, well, a dog. A simple solution was to put it in the washer and so I began a search for the detergent.

The detergent, though, was nowhere to be found. Before Trixie left on her adventure to far flung places, she apparently decided to hide all the things she knew I would need.

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How high is your ying yang?

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During recent conversations with some friends in South Fork, I casually inquired how deep the snow was and was informed it was “up to your yin yang.”

Not knowing exactly where that would be on my person or whether it is at different heights on various people, I had to consult the dictionary for clarification. It seems that Yin and Yang is a part of Chinese philosophy indicating how two completely opposite things are connected: light and dark, hot and cold, life and death and so on.

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Baby-sitting flu right pass

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Becoming a Grandpa isn't so hard. All you have to do is raise your own child to adulthood and they usually take care of the rest. Sooner or later a baby comes along and you are suddenly qualified to be a grandparent.

 

Like many other fathers, I wasted all those free-wheeling years between when our own kids were raised and before the next generation came along to interrupt our oh-so-busy schedule of watching TV and sleeping late.

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Assembling Happiness

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The Christmas Season brings excitement for kids of all ages and a growing anxiety for all fathers. Fathers will be required to put up Christmas trees and lights as well as endure countless trips to toy stores, clothing venues and Santa's Village plus lugging endless armloads of presents to put under the tree.

His kids will become unbearable as their anticipation grows to the point of breaking. In order to maintain some semblance of household order, even the most normal, calm, well behaved children suddenly must be reminded often of Santa's words about “naughty or nice.”

The biggest fear any dad must face, however, during this season is the knowledge that any present opened on Christmas Day will require expert-level assembling skills for extremely anxious children. Luckily, any seven-year-old can connect a computer, stereo or program a television better than an adult, so that one is covered.

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Church Potluck

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Church is a funny place. It’s a different mix of people ranging from stiff necked-suit-and-tie denominations to pew-jumping-grandmas to tattooed-ex-cons and pleated skirted mountain hippies, bikers, cowboys and yuppies. But in spite of our differences, all of us seem to find righteousness in the same loving God through our worship.

Being the son of a pastor, I was forced to attend a lot of church services in my lifetime. As I grew to adulthood and was no longer forced to attend, I discovered that I actually enjoyed the people and have continued to attend when I can. Travel in the winter months allows me to visit churches of every flavor and persuasion and while all are in different locations, they all are willing to share their experience and their churches with a stranger.

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Gambling my way south

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With Willie Nelson’s “On The Road Again” playing on my speakers, Cooper and I left the San Luis Valley a few weeks ago to hunt and fish in warmer climes. We got as far as Walsenburg before Mafia Marvin, the king of all RV dealers, called.

He had a new 2014 fifth wheel with my name on it and made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. Cooper and I made a left hand turn onto I-25 and soon found ourselves driving a larger rig on our journey eastward. At 37’, it pulls like a dream and offers all the modern comforts of home.

So, from the falling snows of Colorado I traveled with my destination being deer hunting in Western Kansas, then a family wedding in Eastern Kansas with Cooper and Trixie as my faithful companions. With both of those events behind me, it was then time to head South to spend time with my son near Dallas.

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Weddings are us

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There comes a time in every man’s life when he finds himself having to attend the wedding of a close friend or relative.

Such times are looked upon with fear and trepidation as he knows he must endure stifling hot temperatures stuffed in a too small suit long abandoned to the back of the closet. His girlfriend or wife, meanwhile, breaks the bank getting a new dress, shoes and jewelry so she can look good for all the people in attendance.

Attending the wedding is called, “doing what’s right,” to the uninitiated. It also involves giving up a Saturday of hunting and fishing or watching the ballgame.

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Internet riches

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The Internet is a wonderful and amazing place. It is filled with unbelievable amounts of information, both good and bad.

It takes me to the farthest parts of the earth with photo tours; shows me current satellite images of places I have been through Google Earth; connects me with friends both far and near; builds businesses; and, even lets me talk to my two-year-old granddaughter through FaceTime.

I found the Internet quite some time before Al Gore invented it so I am wondering about that statement.

But regardless, it has been a wonderful tool to peruse the vast amounts of data available on the information highway. One must be careful, though, when using the Internet as that highway often has some bad detours to misinformation especially on sites promising quick money, a Russian bride or flat abs. These often lead to being connected to nut jobs and whackos wanting my attention—and money.

So like anything these days, let the buyer beware. And make sure you have a large efficient Spam folder imbedded in your email account.

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