Internet riches

The Internet is a wonderful and amazing place. It is filled with unbelievable amounts of information, both good and bad.  

It takes me to the farthest parts of the earth with photo tours; shows me current satellite images of places I have been through Google Earth; connects me with friends both far and near; builds businesses; and, even lets me talk to my two-year-old granddaughter through FaceTime. 

I found the Internet quite some time before Al Gore invented it so I am wondering about that statement.  

But regardless, it has been a wonderful tool to peruse the vast amounts of data available on the information highway. One must be careful, though, when using the Internet as that highway often has some bad detours to misinformation especially on sites promising quick money, a Russian bride or flat abs. These often lead to being connected to nut jobs and whackos wanting my attention—and money.  

So like anything these days, let the buyer beware. And make sure you have a large efficient Spam folder imbedded in your email account.  

Recently, I have been the recipient of emails informing me of a vast fortune that I have either inherited or am the trusted person to distribute money to charities across the world. Mr. Mugabe has informed me that his father, the King of Janubee, has left him this tidy sum of money and he needs my help in getting it out of the county.  

Upon reading that, I am immediately taken to a place in my mind where I am some James Bond type person helping to find King Solomon’s Mine. How did Mr. Mugabe know that about me?  

Mr. Zamboni, another trusting fellow, tells me that a $292 million award from an oil deal awaits my signing for it plus Mrs. O'Leary says I have won the Irish Lottery.  

Now I am getting up in years and have noticed that I am more forgetful these days but for the life of me, I can’t recall ever being related to a King or making any oil stock investments in Nigeria.

I am prone to purchasing a lottery ticket now and then but only when it exceeds $300 million as I need REAL money not chump change. I do know an Irishman but don't believe I ever bought a ticket in Ireland so am totally stumped on that one. But who am I to question good fortune when it smiles upon me? All that is required is my name, phone number, address, bank account numbers and my first born child.  

My girlfriend Paula, known as “Trixie” to protect her good name, makes fun of my new found fortunes. Being a Silicon Valley babe, she seems to think she has an insider's knowledge of the Internet and its workings and that these are scams at best. But how can that be? They have my name and email address and who would lie and cheat and steal from another person, especially online?  

At the rate these emails are arriving in my Spam folder, I will soon be rich beyond my wildest dreams and be able to pursue other worldly pleasures from my new yacht like homesteading on some South Pacific Island surrounded by wild native girls catering to my every whim. Then Trixie will see that I was right and come crawling to my grass castle, begging my forgiveness and finally admitting she was wrong -- once. Well, maybe not.  

I promise to remember all you little people when I get my fortunes and keep writing to make sure you know how I am doing and that I have not forgotten any of you. It’s the least I can do in light of my good fortune and certain fame to follow.

Late night appearances on the Tonight Show and Letterman will bring me to your homes where we can connect once again like old friends before you shuffle off to your warm beds while I have to maneuver my way through the harsh traffic of New York City.  

It’s what I do for my adoring fans however and I will somehow persevere. The rest of you I will see at The Family Reunion as I understand you’ve also received the same letter so we must be related.

Wolf Creek ski area opened this past week and the lifts and other amenities are providing services once again to skiers from all across the country. The jobs provided there add to the incomes in the Valley and are appreciated during the winter season. Snowmobiling and snowshoeing sports will also draw both locals and tourists into the mountains this time of year.

Cooper and I are off on a hunting and fishing adventure this winter and encourage you to get out and let nature heal your soul of the hustle and bustle experienced during the workweek. Take a short walk in the brisk cool air and find peace in that moment of time. It will never come your way again.