A mind is a terrible thing

Having been single just a short while before discovering Trixie, I nonetheless perfected passive living --- life without agendas or expectations.

 Men generally go along day-to-day with nary a care except for the immediate task at hand. Women on the other hand have this built in Tickler file system that tracks everything to be done for not only that day but years ahead too. They also have an uncanny ability to file away past experiences for quick reference should they need it.

 This comes in handy for them when discussing something we men forgot to do or some faux pas we committed in the past. The things that we men have long forgotten are somehow kept in amazing detail in the female brain.

 I was reminded of this most recently when talk turned to my forgetting Valentine Day last year. I had sent flowers to Trixie when she was sick early in January and earned certain brownie points for that but not enough to make up for the lack of dinner, a movie and chocolate hearts on Feb. 14. Instead, we went fishing and I caught my first American eel. Now what woman wouldn’t treasure that experience?

 Once women figure out that we men have light memories, they use that to their advantage. It goes like this: when you first start dating, women ask lots of questions to see what you actually recall. If you are short on details, they file that away thereby paving the way for a future full of bright promise for what is referred to as “their side of the story” or “the truth.”

The smart man will learn from watching his elders and master a move I call “the shrug.” The actual physical part of this isn't that hard to learn as you just lift your shoulders slightly, but the emotional and mental part is more difficult. To exercise this move correctly, you have to learn to do what is called “not caring.”

To master this skill the smart man has found out that being right isn't as important as being happy. It is more about being able to sneak off fishing and hunting or for golf later so keeping the peace is of utmost importance. You can be right or you can be happy, but not both.

 I also have been able to ascertain from my many interactions with friends over the years that women generally want discourse while men want some other kind of “course.” So learning to put up with one is the only way to get the other so it seems.

 To their credit, women generally have a lot more to remember. I realized this when Trixie told me to use one carton of eggs before cracking the other. Now to me, the right eggs are the ones in the refrigerator as I eat about anything that doesn't eat me -- bears included. 

What this means, however, is that women keep track of dates on milk, eggs and other things that are just put there as suggestions for a man.

All of the things that women think so important like anniversaries, birthdays, bills, school events, Mother’s Day, laundry and church dinners are all filed away in their brains to be instantly accessed at a moment’s notice.

I do notice a difference in my retention of facts and dates since I had to quit work, where I was required to keep track of multiple details and do complex mathematical equations requiring great concentration.

Being away from that for a while, I have now found that having a girlfriend is paramount to remembering where my shoes are. She always knows. Having Trixie has greatly enhanced my life as I now spend more energy remembering the important things and dates in my life and less on finding my stuff.

There are a few dates, however, which are critical to happiness and success for a man. These we remember with ease. 

Such dates as April 2 which just so happens to be the date when the Big Game Applications are due in Colorado for the next hunting season. Or Sept. 2 and Oct. 21, opening days for Bear and Elk hunting. And of course, Super Bowl Sunday, which I am trying to forget this year. 

With the advent of smart phones, a person can enter a date and alarm to remind one of something important coming up. Just like Valentine Day. It’s just around the corner and the smart man will make plans now if he has a wife, girlfriend or partner and plans on keeping her another year.

Generally, those plans need to include her and be something she likes if you are to be successful in life. Apparently fishing for America eel doesn’t qualify as “romantic.”

So if you are entering a phase in your life where your memory is becoming spotty, getting a girlfriend or wife who will remember for you is awfully handy. But be aware that they do remember everything and that can be used against you in a pinch.

Generally, I have found the good outweighs the bad in these instances and being hard of hearing takes care of the rest for me.