Having taken a winding path southward this winter, I have finally arrived at South Padre Island, Texas just in time for spring break.
Those of you who have been subjected to such antics will most assuredly tell Ol' Dutch to “run for the hills.” But the fishing is getting good and even the thought of scantily clad people of the female persuasion cannot drive me from the beach. Ol' Dutch will endure somehow.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that I am also on the border with our neighbors in Mexico and so I just had to go have a look-see for myself. Having been warned by dire news on the Tube and by my friends and family and even a few enemies, I was a tad apprehensive about crossing the line.
Not being a Texan, though, I figured that any old animosity the Mexican people might harbor toward Sam Houston and the other folks who stole Texas from them would be directed toward the people of the Lone Star State and I would be safe enough.
Trixie's dad and I crossed over the line at a town called Nuevo Progresso and immediately were thrust into a teeming beehive of shops and vendors the likes of which Ol' Dutch had never seen before.
I had prepared myself for a mad rush of people of Mexican lineage and instead I was surrounded on every side by 8,000 lily white old people from Michigan, Wisconsin, Illinois and every other state north of the Mason-Dixon Line.
Having seen the influx of illegal aliens to The States, I have to say that it appears there is a reverse move South – at least on a temporary and daily basis.
Ol' Dutch stayed on the main drag and in about a 10 square block area I saw no less than 200 dentists and 200 pharmacies all with paid sales reps hawking their services in the streets. All you had to do was stop and act a little lost – which, in my case is quite often –and someone would ask you what you were looking for.
I had thought at first that about half the Anglos I met were foreign, too, as they had droopy, slobbering mouths and could not speak coherently. Little was I to know that I would soon find out why so many of them were thus affected.
Always being one to sample the wares when I visit a foreign land, I just had to try out one of the dentists there. Trixie's dad has been going to Dr. Alex for 20 years and so far he still has his teeth in good repair so there I went.
It was sure different from what I have experienced north of “the line” as you are whisked into the exam room and if anything is found wrong, they fix it immediately. There is no coming back in two weeks or two months and I got by with about $300 for what would have costs me $3,000 back home and left me with a numb mouth and babbling as incoherently as all the gray-haired folks I had encountered earlier.
Now I know that having your own dentist at home is necessary and I don't begrudge anyone making a living as long as it’s not all off me. I paid my share there through the years but lack of dental insurance now has forced me to extreme measures.
A quick stop at some pharmacies and Ol' Dutch was also able to save some bucks on the meds he has to take and the salve I got seems to be working as advertised and I think it even makes hair grow.
Having hair on my palms might be considered an inconvenience to some but I figure I can always join the circus if I get a good enough stand of hair and it will be great for the cold weather during the upcoming elk season.
All in all I found the people wonderful and superb in sales and service. I have decided that perhaps that where I would like to live so now all I have to do is find a “Coyote” to sneak me across the border.