Ebola Coming and You Better Stay Home

Sometimes things happen in life and either you learn to laugh at the ridiculous or fall into utter despair at the impossibilities we face. I think the Dallas Ebola outbreak is just such a time.

While it’s a horrible threat to the entire world and may be the ultimate pandemic in the end, the media’s response borders from absolute stupidity to insanity.

I got a Facebook post that shows a man in a lab coat and it says “How come all the Zombie movies always start with a man in a lab coat assuring us things are under control?”

So Ol’ Dutch does have some concerns when our government who hasn’t gotten anything right in a long time tells me it’s all under control.

This whole thing wouldn’t have bothered me so much if I didn’t have kids in the Dallas area and in fact, was headed there myself for some heavy duty baby-sitting work.

Once I arrived in the Dallas area I had to make a grocery store run and as soon as Trixie let me out of her sight, things got interesting. Grabbing a few apples for myself it dawned on Ol' Dutch that there are Ebola protective masks in the produce aisle absolutely free of charge.

Now some of you might recognize them as the clear bags for the apples but Ol' Dutch, being a master of improvisation and frugality, was able to transform a simple plastic bag into a disease protection system by simply poking a few holes in it for my glasses. (Kids, please don’t try this at home.)

 I had to walk quite a ways to show Trixie and her dad, Shot, to see if they wanted one, too. Incredulous looks and laughter broke out along the aisles and I realized that I had done my part to ease the tensions in the entire Dallas Metroplex and, at the same time, give valuable instruction on safe shopping practices.

One lady laughed so hard her teeth fell out and another wet her pants but all in all it was good for morale in a slumping area.

Really, folks, laughter is a good tonic when we are faced with news that they let the nurse fly around the country, another person went on a cruise and they are letting people in the United States from nations where the epidemic that is still yet unchecked.

And, then there is this: they are trying to hire people to screen possible Ebola carriers at the airports for $19 an hour in New York City. No suits, no protection, no nothing. Now that’s hazardous duty in anyone's book.

So left to my unbelievable witty and creative self on the long drive to Texas, I suddenly came up with some new lyrics to an old song that seems to fit perfectly. If you know the Banana Boat Song, you will be able to sing along.

So grab a guitar, a friend or an enemy and enjoy the song. Laugh or cry, the disease is here to stay and we will overcome it somehow.

Man come to America from old Liberia

Ebola coming and he oughta stayed home

Came into Dallas and caused mass hysteria

Ebola coming and he shoulda stayed home.

Day oh, day oh , day oh

Ebola coming and you better stay home

Day oh, day oh, day oh

Ebola coming and you better stay home.


Leader reads it wrong and says it's Ebolee

Ebola coming and he sure stayed home

Thought it was something like Ravioli

Ebola coming and he is staying home.


President Obama cancels fundraiser-WOW

Ebola coming and he sure stayed home

Didn’t want to get out in public right now

Ebola coming and he did stay home


Can’t get Ebola from being next to someone

Ebola coming and you don't have to stay home

But if you got it don't ride a bus downtown

Ebola coming and we gonna stay home


(Repeat the chorus til you go crazy)