Ever since I was elected to be the one to go to the store when the TOILET PAPER emergencies occurred in our household, I have always bought plenty and had it on hand no matter what.
Living 12 miles from town in those days made it a tad harder than a run to the corner market too. So I learned to pick up a LOT of TP whenever I was at the store which caused no end to tension about storage space. Now that I am full time Rv-ing the lack of space does cause some difficulties in keeping very much on hand. When I switched RVs last year, Trixie was flabbergasted at the number of rolls I can stuffed away in nooks and crannies.
Now to many of you having 6 rolls may be enough to bring you to absoluteNirvana but for a man, 48 rolls is more the number we look for. It is a lot cheaper by the pallet and if you have ever been to a Sam's Club store, you know the mantra of having them load up your purchases with a forklift. You are never certain why you need 5 gallons of ketchup or fruit cocktail, but it seems like such a good buy at the time.
I am a shopper and a bachelor so I have to admit that .00002 cents an ounce savings on an item is enough for me to eat the off brand no matter how it tastes.
Trixie, on the other hand, thinks nothing of buying name brand products: salmon, olives, crackers, sugar and yes, even Morton salt instead of the Always Save brand. Being from Kansas and one of the largest salt reserves in the world, I know it all comes from the same place. Dead fish bodies. So I prefer to buy the cheapest I can find. Of course the new rave toward sea salt has captured her attention when cooking and I guess we can afford the $4 for some fancy-schmancy salt from polluted ocean water.
As you have read, during the winter Ol’ Dutch let his creative juices flow and got a guitar.
Last week Trixie and I were talking. Well, she was talking and I was agreeing as I can't hear so I simply nod my head yes at appropriate intervals. Somehow the subject of a harmonica came up. Always wanting to learn to play one, I had her order one from Amazon. Well almost. We agreed on ONE and she ordered 7.
Of course like most things, they were cheaper by the dozen or whatever. I am more of a try it and then see kinda guy where she is more into the cost per item no matter the total bill. This pretty much shows you why women love to shop. Shopping is a form of hunting for them as they peruse the aisles and sale bills and dig through mountains of stuff to get “the best deal.”
Although I am by nature extremely frugal, I do splurge on certain “essential” items if they are a good buy in bulk. For me, “the essentials” include fishing gear, shotgun shells, hunting gear, shrimp, crawdads and yes, toilet paper.
For instance, while in Pensacola I ate a ton of shrimp because, well, you just have to when they are so cheap. Same with eating crawdads while in Texas. I witness two local Texas boys finishing off 22 pounds of crawdads in one setting. Now that is essential happiness right there for you.
But, back to toilet paper buying. Sometimes I like to send Trixie into a mass panic by casting a glance down the paper goods aisle. She’ll say something like, “Don’t even think about it, we still have 108 rolls under the bed.”
Although she has curbed my buying habit, I am a bit like Pavlov’s dogs when it comes to seeing an aisle full of paper goods. A scientist, Pavlov would present food when he rang a bell and the dogs would salivate. After a bit of conditioning, just the sound of the bell would make their mouths water.
Next time you see me in the grocery story exhibiting a definite flinch every time I pass the paper goods section, know that Trixie Pavlov has finally achieved her goal. But you wait til she runs out of TP some night sitting on the porcelain throne and I bet you see Ol’ Dutch making another emergency run to the store -- grumbling all the way.