Our lives seem to be full of items that are constantly breaking or needing adjustment. The standard smartphone or DVD player are typical of these things we use daily yet seem to need the skills of a qualified technician to fix them.
This can range anywhere from a $60-an-hour repair at the local store to an 8 year old neighbor kid who can adjust, tweak, program and set the clock on any item.
Folks lucky enough to have children or grandchildren can simply have them fix it but without my kids in close proximity sometimes Ol' Dutch has to take on such chores alone.
Last month I was able to lead you through some simple steps to fixing a laptop computer and I am happy to tell you it’s still working as I type. The keyboard, though, has become permanently detached from the machine and sits flopping loosely on top.
Trixie, ever the Silicon Valley of the Dolls woman, watches me type on it and rolls her eyes asking over and over again if I would like to order a new one. This leads me to believe that she has never been around real men as the conquest of the beast is part of keeping your man card.
Now it seems that the capital key for the “p” won’t work which doesn't really seem too important as I can simply avoid using “p” words for the start of a sentence or a proper noun.
Another key that is lagging now is the question mark. I was really concerned about this until I realized that Ol' Dutch really doesn't have a need to ask any more questions but simply has to provide answers to those around me from now on.
Trixie would say that my advanced age might just make that true if I knew what I were talking about. Something about her must be attractive as Ol' Dutch sometimes thinks those remarks are a tad critical. But then again, how could they be anything but admiring when she is with a man such as I.
And there you see again, I had no question mark to end the last two sentences making them more of a statement of truth than a question that someone could refute if given the chance.
Both of my kids are in the middle of major house remodels which means sometimes Ol' Dutch gets phone calls at the oddest hours about how to do something. They will start out with the typical small talk asking about fishing and Trixie (not in that order, though) then move on into the questioning part which is why they called in the first place.
Usually they will start with “Dad, I have a question.” To which I reply, “Do you want a right answer or just an answer.” As you can see each of these past lines need some punctuation from a key that is no longer working so just bear with me on that.
Most of us go through life looking for information never once questioning the validity of the answers we receive. The rise of the Internet has cause for concern as one never knows that is true or not.
Last week we read that Mark Zuckerberg was gonna give away tons of money to persons who shared the page. This gave some scam marketing person a myriad of information as people were suckered into liking and sharing the post.
A lot of them said they were posting “just in case” it was true and I was tempted too until they said he was also giving away Justin Bieber and realized I would not take him if they paid me.
So if fixing things falls into your job description around the household or at work, you can fall back on one of two approaches. Either fix it right and have a never-ending line of friends and relatives needing help or do as Ol' Dutch does and fix it “for good.”
Just be sure and leave a few small screws laying around for others to find so you can explain that they were left over from the last repairs. This approach has worked so successfully for Ol' Dutch that he is able to go fishing while Trixie is put to work on other people's problems fixing them right.