Nothing says a good family fight like getting everyone together for a day of Thanksgiving Day celebration.
I can recall some doozies down through the years as normally sane people seem to lose all control when confronted with the idiosyncrasies of Aunt Martha and Uncle Paul.
Suddenly the constant belching issuing forth from some distant cousin or the showoff dress worn by your sister Sharon comes to a head and tempers flare and words are spewed forth like Jonah from the proverbial whale.
If people could just learn to eat the tryptophan-laced turkey first they would quickly pass into afternoon slumber. You don't see anyone fighting after they eat as they are all sprawled out and asleep in the chairs, beds and couches of the hosts’ homes.
Of course this leaves said host to clean up the mess left by the gobbling guests and with no respite as they all wake up about the same time ready for another round of food and pie.
Recently I was in Idaho and had the pleasure to meet a man who is from the Shoshone Tribe. If you know your history you will remember that those people helped Lewis and Clark in their journey across America.
As we talked it became clear that he also felt like guests can be a pain especially when they overstay their welcome like the early pilgrims and pioneers did. For just like any guest, coming to visit is one thing but moving in with you is quite another.
I have to think that the Native Americans that fed the early Pilgrims to this nation must have eaten the turkey first, otherwise they would have had a fight right at the beginning and sent those immigrants packing.
The one thing you now find in many Native communities is a casino. Since they really got a raw deal by the intruders, I am all for them getting what is owed to them $1 at a time.
My great-great-grandfather was Native American and could not live in town due to that bloodline. I got to thinking about him the other day and about all the talk of reparations being owed to people of different races.
I soon figured out that I would love to get some of that free money but then realized that being of Scottish and Heinz 57 ancestry in addition to Native American I would end up owing myself.
Isn't that how it always is? Just when a person figures out an angle to get rich someone throws a wrench in the works.
Trixie for her part may owe me quite a bit however as her ancestors came to Texas back in 1833 and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that her great-great-great moved in on someone else’s land.
Regardless of your heritage or political leanings try and remember to get that turkey on the table early and hopefully prevent some Thanksgiving fireworks of your own. And if that doesn't work, relish the fact that you will have a nice peaceful evening when everyone gets mad and goes home.