Have you ever noticed how many books are targeted for Dummies?
They have Poker for Dummies, Grammar for Dummies, Snowboarding for Dummies, Kindle for Dummies (enter 275 other titles here) and last but not least -- yes you guessed it -- Sex for Dummies.
Now Ol' Dutch has known some really dumb people in his life but it appears to me that most of them knew how to do the latter as evidence by the numbers of rug rats running around this world.
Lest you think this column is about sex, I’m sorry to disappoint. It is about a dummy, though, me and my adventures repairing my own laptop. It is surprising how much we depend on our computers and especially me for concocting a good story for the weekly column.
About two years ago I began to have problems with the screen on my laptop. It got all floppy and I nursed it along best I could until a few weeks ago when I had to pull out the repair kit and duct tape the screen in place.
Fast forward two weeks and Ol' Dutch had to set his laptop down and get up to get some coffee. When I came back to my throne, my screen had gone berserk and would not return to normal. Trixie was gone at the time and so I blame this all on her as I was forced to get my own coffee and hence the problem developed.
When Trixie came back, I asked her opinion about the situation. She suggested buying a new computer. But Ol' Dutch, ever his tightwad self, decided that he could probably fix this himself.
Grabbing my tools I started the tedious process of taking the back off the machine and when the removal of all the visible screws failed to loosen the case, resorted to prying the top of the computer.
Parts came off in rapid succession and screws piled up on the table, like rivets on the Golden Gate Bridge. I was careful to keep them all in one place for what I hoped would be reassembly.
I am really good at taking things apart and always believed that I would make a good partner in a surgical team if only I could find someone to do the “putting back together” part. But back to the task at hand.
There I sat making humming and hawing noises much to Trixie's delight. Trixie has a background working in the Silicon Valley and so seeing a Colorado rough carpenter work on a computer sent her into a frenzy of complete hysterical pleasure.
But Ol' Dutch was not to be deterred by some high maintenance woman shrieking in the background and pressed on until he found some wires that had been disconnected. I also found some loose metal parts inside and removed those for future repairs.
But now came the tedious part of trying to put the laptop back together. I soon discovered that whomever designed this thing wasted a lot of extra screws on assembly as I ended up with about half a dozen left over after I was done.
Grabbing the tape I secured all the loose places on the case and then it dawned on me that I may have just made an amazing discovery.
Anyone who has had a laptop knows that sooner or later it has to go into the shop for repairs. If the manufacturers will simply switch from screws to tape, a simple box cutter will ease the chore of accessing the insides of the machine and save money on unneeded screws.
So as you read this know that Ol' Dutch not only fixed the screen but the computer is running faster than ever. So if you ever need help with your computer, bring it by and Ol' Dutch will take it apart for you.