Last year, Readers, you may recall that Ol' Dutch got himself into what is known as a “pickle” over some slight oversight of Trixie's birthday.
Back in our courting days when she was pursuing me with vim and vigor, Trixie made it clear that no gifts were to be purchased on Christmas or Birthdays and this is one of the many reasons Ol’ Dutch was bamboozled into thinking she is “the perfect woman.”
I soon found out that rule about birthdays only held true during the initial mating dances and as our relationship deepened, gifts — “handmade or thoughtful” — were expected on those dates.
So this year Ol' Dutch mentally tied her birthday date to the IRS deadline on taxes thereby remembering two dreaded things at once.
First of all I was able to take her to dinner overlooking Laguna Madre on Padre Island for a nice seafood dinner. Even though we split the meal it was nice for her and she appreciated what women call “any effort.” Splitting the meal always gives a man credit for caring about her waistline and also reduces the tip considerably thereby saving money for fishing supplies. (Another tip is to order water and go before 6 p.m. for the early bird special. See Ol’ Dutch is always thinking about my girl.)
Little did she know that a short week later Ol' Dutch was gonna go all-out and have a surprise birthday party for her at Lake Texoma when we were camping with some RV friends. The planning was intense as I had to think about it often plus carefully considering the guest list and buying all sorts of party favors. Well, maybe not.
It was pure luck that I found a $10 bill in one pocket of my jeans and so was able to coax some of our friends to pick up cupcakes and a helium balloon at the Wal-Mart the night before the big event.
You might ask how that is special but let me tell you the cupcakes were not only graced with a candle each but also were red velvet cake which is her favorite. Never let it be said Ol' Dutch doesn’t go hog wild to sponsor an event.
Her birthday happened to land on a Sunday this year and I filled the day with sunshine, laughter and even took her fishing in the boat. I know that probably was overdoing it a bit but never let it be said Ol' Dutch doesn’t know how to throw a party.
I also held off filing my taxes for a day in her honor as that can put Ol' Dutch in a less than festive mood.
Trixie was overjoyed at the huge effort that I put into the event and I was happy to have spent such lavish amounts on that joyous occasion.
It’s a slippery slope for a man to start actually doing something for such an occasion as women tend to remember and you have to top your last performance the next year.
But not to worry, Ol' Dutch has been on this merry go round before and can therefore up the ante next year. I might even go as far as to include a free flashlight from Harbor Freight (retail value $5.99.) Now, who doesn’t need a flashlight, I ask you?
But don’t tell Trixie as I may change my mind and get her the free circuit tester (retail value $9.99) instead.