Google yourselves to endless knowledge

You would have to be born under a rock not to know what Google is and how it works but for those of you who are part granite, here is the gist of the thing.

Somewhere out there in space there is this huge plethora of information just waiting for you to access it. Back in the day, when a person wanted to know something you would consult the encyclopedia and after spending countless hours perusing those pages and pictures, maybe find out or not.

I can recall in High School using the Encyclopedia Britannica for all my research which tells you not only was I looking in the thickest book available but also just how ancient I actually am. Can someone please take Trixie aside and explain what an encylopedia is?

When I was younger, I was doing some contractual work for an engineering firm and had to use a computer all day long. This led to an introduction to the world wide web otherwise known as “total waste of time.”

Now I am not saying that the Web is a total waste as it’s sure handy to find out such things as when weather fronts are moving in and the solunar tables for deer feeding times, but for the easily distracted user, it can be a morass of quicksand knowledge.

The real problem is once you start looking online for things or information, it becomes a disease and sure to be listed along with alcoholism and drug addiction for treatment. A person starts to look for one thing which leads to another and before long you have spent an entire afternoon perusing things you have no interest in other than the great thirst for knowledge also known as gossip.

For instance, I wanted to look up something about Gunsmoke the television show which led to Tom and Amanda Blake which led to Tom and Jerry which led to Ben and Jerry's which then required a trip to the grocery store for some ice cream.

While there I needed gas and so looked on Gas Buddy for the best prices in the area and found Bearing Buddy which will fit my camper wheels but that led to a wheel in a wheel and pretty soon I was reading about Elijah and his vision of the flying saucer in the Bible.

You see, the powers that control this information won’t let you just look for what you want but have decided in their infinite wisdom to post other things that “sound like” what you are looking for and thereby draw a person into a technology web.

From my chair I can travel to Burma and see the Temples of Goober Peas or something like that and never risk contracting Yellow Fever or the Grip. Not only do I get pictures but actual movies about all the places I really would love to visit and even the ones I don’t.

Recent events over in the Middle East has made me curious about that area and so I have been traveling there via the Web every evening and let me tell you, it’s an interesting trip for sure. Pictures and videos of all that’s going on including the terrorists flood my screen yet here I sit all safe and sound in the heartland of America without any risk to life or limb.

Except for Trixie who has threatened to cut me off if I don’t stop taking such long trips or at least threatens to cut something off.

I am not really sure what she said as someone online wanted me to watch his mother-in-law fall down dancing at the wedding which led to dancing with the stars that then led to Nostradamus and you can’t even imagine where that took me.