The fat goose

Way back in the late 16th century, the Brits beat the Spanish Armada. And, in doing so, old Queen Liz the First ordered her subjects to eat goose for their Christmas dinner that year.

And, that’s how goose became the traditional meal for our cousins across the seas and gave us the ever popular:

Christmas is coming, The goose is getting fat; Please put a penny In the old man’s hat. If you haven’t got a penny, A ha’penny will do; If you haven’t got a ha’penny God bless you.

While you know that Ol’ Dutch doesn’t really take to anything that isn’t an American tradition, there is something soothing about wassailing (which is a fancy way of saying caroling while drinking booze.)

Some years back Miss Trixie and I got talked into helping with a Christmas performance in small town Kansas that included a play, food and music from the bygone era of old timey England. We were caroling inside, not wassailing, by the way, because in Kansas there’s no booze -- at least not at this function.

This event was held in an old rock church and everyone who was anyone showed up including the preachers, teachers and pumpkin pie eaters.

Well the entire community was pretty well represented anyway as the town of 211 proud Jayhawkers were just glad to get out of the house during the long cold winter.

The local Post Mistress wrote a corny play about 12th century Kings and such with a twist somehow tied into the local goings on. I never did understand it all as I am not from the small town and thus not quite in the loop on local jokes.

Ol’ Dutch seems to always be enlisted to sing and entertain at such celebratory gatherings. Although I may not be good entertainment, my form of entertainment is copious and free which is what most people are looking for anyway.

All of the entertainers and servers had to dress up in period costumes and it was hokey at the least but raised money for the local women’s organization so you do what you must to help those in need.

Those of you who know me know that Ol’ Dutch is a soft touch for charitable causes and especially those run by women folk as they smell good and smile which breaks my normal resisting resolve to not help out. I have thus been talked into many events appearing as a South Pacific chieftain, goat herder from the Sound of Music, Buck Dynasty, Astronaut, Elvis, Kenny Rogers and others all for a good cause.

I got to thinking the other day -- here we go again --- that with such a rich selection of costumes now in my closet that Ol’ Dutch is the perfect candidate to take over for the soon to retire 007 spy of intrigue.

Now think about it. I have all the qualities necessary for such a gig as I am handsome, brave, shoot straight, honest, a sure lady killer, immaculate dresser, singer, songwriter, poet, world traveler and cause wrecks wherever I go. Miss Trixie is rolling her eyes as she reads this over my shoulder which is always a good sign of certain agreement on her part. And while some of those may be a stretch I have been to Mexico and drive like Mr. Magoo so wrecks follow me.

Speaking of good causes, around Dallas on the free TV stations, the airways are full of St. Jude’s commercials and kids at the Shriner Hospital reminding us that there is more to this season than putting presents under a tree and talking to a bearded fat man.

So this Christmas season Miss Trixie and I encourage you to find those around you in need whether close or far and be a blessing to them in giving of your time, love or monetary gifts. For in our giving to others is a true blessing seen and the impact of your actions will live on long after you are gone from this temporal plane.

God bless you all this Christmas season and may you find peace and joy as you celebrate with friends and family wherever you may be. And if you cannot find anything to be thankful for always remember this: you could be married to Ol’ Dutch.