Christian landscaping

Ol’ Dutch has long been a proponent of making a token effort at all times to do the right thing in life – or at least try to do the right thing. I did pretty good most of the time and being the son of a pastor, Fast Freddy, certainly helped that process along somewhat.

He and, consequently I, are direct descendants from a founder of the famous Dodge City, Kansas, which set us on a possible course of being associated with Wyatt Earp and his clan, which earned the in-fun-only name “Fast Freddy” for my dad. However, our ancestor chose the other side of the docket and my great-grandfather was a well-known judge and the first attorney in Dodge beginning in about 1880.

And I said all that to lead into the part about growing up in a church and what that meant to me.

Back in the day (which is what you say when you talk about a better time or at least perceived better time in life,) you could pretty much guarantee that church people were honest and good folk. So when a person said they were church material, you could expect them to act the part and be honest and hard working. And that, my friends, was a great time in history.

Of late we have seen a lot of those good intentions, brotherly love and love your neighbor as yourself go lacking even in the top circles of the religious folks.

Ol’ Dutch was perusing the online ads the other day and came across an interesting advertise-ment for a Christian Landscaper Service. That got me to thinking -- a dangerous proposition on any given day according to Miss Trixie -- that I am not sure what hiring a Christian or any other religious person to mow my grass really gets me.

I mean, do they show up with a choir and robes, sing “When The Saints Go Marching In” while mowing, or make payment for the work to be more of a collection effort like at church? Maybe they plant a menorah on the lawn or erect a statue of Buddha I don’t know.

Now Ol’ Dutch realizes that advertising that way is supposed to give me some assurance of a good job done or honesty at the least but I think there are better qualifiers when it comes to har-vesting my grass.

I am more inclined to maybe hire a guy who advertises that he is dependable. Now that is some-thing I need when it comes to clipping the greenery. Or maybe experienced or fast or maybe even cheap.

Because when I am paying someone to take care of the greens I like it done on time, a good job and take the least amount of time. Now that is a good sod trimmer.

After thinking about this a little bit I came to realize that there are places where just the opposite is what a guy wants. And although I want an experienced pastor or church leader I really don't need one that is fast or cheap. Although there have been more than one Sunday that I wish speed would come into play during the sermon.

Which reminds me of the pastor’s wife who was seen blowing him kisses during the service. A parishioner remarked how sweet that was and the pastor's wife said that K.I.S.S. is short for Keep It Short Stupid.

I think my mom did that a lot as I recall