The Grim Reaper Cometh

Today more than any other I was reminded that the Grim Reaper is creeping ever so much closer to my soul as I forgot to write this column for the week. They do say memory is the first thing to go.

Such forgetfulness can be worrisome but the doctors tell you that even though you lose your keys, if you know what to do with them once you find them, then you don’t need to worry a lot about losing them in the first place.

Most men rely on their wives or girlfriends to keep them informed of important dates and that’s why I have Trixie.

She is usually spot-on when it comes to those things. This time, however, our lives have been reduced to early morning hunting, late-night socializing and trying to keep the rest of life rolling which means that writing skipped my feeble mind.

The wonders of modern convenience, though, never cease to amaze me and even now I am writing this in an aspen park at 11,000 feet to be zipped to your local paper by some method I cannot even begin to comprehend.

Last Sunday we had another rousing round of southern gospel singing at Aspen Ridge RV Park and I felt pretty good being able to remember at least most of the old songs. But, then, phrases like “on a hill far away” and “some glad morning when this life is o’er” are pretty much ingrained on my soul.

Playing a guitar and singing at the same time is akin to the old test of rubbing your belly and patting your head at the same time so at least Ol Dutch has a little bit of light left in the old bulb.

The long walk up to where I hunt every morning at zero-dark-thirty does make me stop and blow like an old horse and it seems that it's harder every day let alone each new year.

Regardless of what Trixie may say (and certainly thinks), Ol Dutch is the epitome of hard mountain man physique. 

 I may not be the picture of champion-ironman-training-manhood like Trixie was used to but I do bring a few things to the table where those guys fell short. I’d like to see one of those fellas put fresh game on the table, stock the larder full of fish, nap in the afternoon or be so forgetful it allows Trixie to get away with just about anything by saying, “oh, you just don’t remember that.”

So if you are beginning to forget things in life just make sure it is things that are not worth remembering like your golf score, the last card game with the ladies when they beat the pants off you and that big elk you missed.

And always remember this: never pick your nose on a bumpy road. That’s how Ol’ Dutch nearly poked his eye out.